When it comes to mean girls, I always want some kind of closure. I want them to realize that what they did to me was wrong and regret it. I always hear that karma will get these girls, but karma always seems too slow for me.
When I was in grad school, I took advantage of the free counseling (well, as free as it gets when you pay a million dollars in tuition) at my school. I wanted to talk to someone about the fact that I hold grudges. We talked about why I felt so hurt about being wronged in different situations and how I could let go of the anger and hurt that I held on to. And while the counselor was really helpful on certain topics, this was one she didn't really help me work out. I told her I wanted to hear that the person who hurt me regretted it. She just kept asking me what would change for me if I heard those words. I felt like if I heard that, I would feel like I could release the anger and hurt. Because after all, then I would come out on top. Right?
|So freaking true. via|
And that's the thing about mean girls. They don't know they are mean. Or if they do, they don't care because...well, they're mean!
As I'm getting older, I'm realizing that I can't hold other people up to the standards I've set for myself. I can't assume that others are going to be considerate and actually care about my feelings. I am also realizing that if I don't get rid of some of my hurt, I can't let new people into my life who will actually be positive forces for me.
I know I'm so lucky to have my husband and to have narrowed down my friendships to people who truly matter to me and who truly care about me. Yet there is still a part of me that is hurt from past friendships. I don't need them in my life, yet for some reason I feel like I need the closure.
How do you let go of hurt and anger? How do you let/make yourself move on?