Last night, Alexia decided it would be a good night to try to pull an all nighter. From 9pm to 5am, she slept for only 2 hours and cried and fussed for the rest of the time. Yesterday morning, LoLo and I both woke up with sore throats. We told each other we'd go to sleep early so that we could rest and try to fight off any cold that might be trying to make its way to us. Alexia must have been laughing when she heard us say that.
|She's lucky she has this sweet little face!
Two hours later, at 11:45, Alexia was still awake. Now one thing you need to know about this baby is that she sleeps a lot. Like so much that she only wakes up to eat and then goes immediately back to sleep. Being awake for two hours is not something that happens with her. I kept trying to feed her but she wasn't hungry. She just wanted to fuss so we let her. Soon we figured out why when she spit up all over herself. Another change of clothes and another trip down to the laundry. Still no big deal. We got her comfortable and put her in her bassinet to sleep.
Two hours later, she was awake again. I figured we'd feed her and she'd fall right back to sleep like she normally does. Not last night. She cried and cried. We gave her a pacifier for the first time and she spit it out. We checked her temperature to make sure she didn't have a fever. LoLo rocked her in the rocking chair and even though it started putting him to sleep, she was wide awake. At around 3, she finally fell asleep. I put her in the bassinet and ten minutes later, she was screaming again. I couldn't help but cry. I didn't feel well and just wanted to rest so that I could get better. I didn't know why she was so upset.
At around 4:30 when I felt like I just couldn't take it anymore, I held her tight in my arms with her little face pressed up against mine and started rocking in the bed. She started falling asleep. I started to cry again but this time because I kept thinking about how much I loved her. How if this were anyone else messing with my sleep, I would be furious but because it was her all I could think of was how much I loved her.
It was a moment I don't think I'll ever forget. It was in that moment that I realized I'm really a mom. It was in that moment that I realized I love her more than I love myself.