Sunday, January 12, 2014

Mom, married

A few weeks (months?) ago, I wrote about being a mom and working. I don't like to say a working mom because honestly, what mom isn't working? Moms who stay at home definitely work... just maybe not in the traditional sense one might think of.

This week, I've thought a lot about being a mom and being married. I had heard that marriage can get really difficult after you have a child (but let's be real, marriage is hard even without kids). I didn't doubt that LoLo and I would have our arguments and fights.

The first two weeks after Alexia was born, we rode the wave of sleeplessness and the high of having our beautiful little girl in our arms. We barely fought at all. He took care of every little thing I needed. He let me sleep in the mornings while he took the baby downstairs. He loved our little girl so much that I couldn't help but feel extreme love for him too.

But that wave slowly calmed and we came down from our high and our marriage took a back seat. Everything we did was for Alexia. I struggled through breastfeeding, going back to work, and trying to find enough time (and sleep) in the day to take care of Alexia, LoLo, and even Bronx. LoLo struggled through finding his role as a father, figuring out our little girl each week when he had one day alone with her while I worked.

obligatory cute baby pic. taken by my sister of course.

On our trip to New York to visit LoLo's family a few weeks ago, there was one day where I needed to run a few errands around the neighborhood in Queens. LoLo's mom offered to watch Alexia so that he could come with me. As we walked around the neighborhood, doing basic things that we had done a million times before, LoLo said to me, "I feel how I felt when we were first dating. I miss this."

This was me and LoLo as husband and wife rather than as Alexia's mom and dad. This was us, the basis of our relationship, laughing and joking through such menial tasks as going to the supermarket and stopping at the pharmacy.

She's lost some hair, but she's still adorable!
Being a mother is difficult. So is being a father. There are times that I feel resentful that LoLo doesn't have to wake up in the middle of the night when the baby is hungry. And I know LoLo doesn't always love having to take out the trash or cook dinner. But this past week, after an argument over something really stupid, we looked at each other and said that we need to be the best married couple we can be. We have to set the best possible example for our daughter. Because being the best married couple we can be allows us to be the best parents we can be.