As many of you know, I have been basically running my department at work as a one woman show. For the past (almost) 4 months, I've done everything for our department. And I love it. I love it so much that I'm having a hard time giving parts of it up to my new colleague.
See, oldest children often have a problem giving up control. Because we are born first and take on responsibility before (and for) our siblings, we are used to having control. Giving it up can be painful.
Oh, and I don't like sharing the spotlight. Imagine that. Someone who had the spotlight ripped out from under her after two years of being everyone's sunshine hates sharing the spotlight. It's all starting to make sense, right? First borns strive for perfection and strive for the praise they receive when they succeed. I love getting recognition for the things that I do, often to a fault.
Remember last week when I forgot Bronx at daycare? Even my reaction to this can be explained by birth order traits. When I searched for first born traits, here's one thing that came up: "Your deep-seated fear of rejection means you dread failure. And because you ask so much of yourself, you’re less likely to forgive yourself when you don’t manage to do what’s expected."
So these are my current goals.
Let go of some of the pride and control.
Give someone else a chance in the spotlight.
Forgive myself when I'm not perfect.