I hate Christmas. I hate the music. I hate the lights. I hate the trees. I hate the decorations.
I don't know when I developed the hatred for Christmas, but I do have a theory for why: the stress. I hate that a time that is supposed to be happy has turned into being all about stress.
And the music...ohhhhh the music. I hate little jingling bells. I hate really high pitched chipmunk voices singing in unison. And most of all, I hate songs about kissing Santa Claus. In general, I'm not a fan of the elderly kissing at all.
The lights... annoying. One of them goes out and it's all over. Blinking lights, flashing lights, singing lights, colorful lights...ANNOYING! It all just seems kind of tacky to me. Check out this house that was in our neighborhood in the Bronx.
And finally, the idea of black Friday. I think this ecard says it all:
If there were a fast forward button in life I would push it until I got to December 25 because I happen to love my family's new tradition of eating crepes (our version of crepes is really thick fried dough) on Christmas and then being lazy all day.
I'm also really on board with the week I get off between Christmas and New Years, so that can stay.
The 25th also signals the end of annoyingness related to chipmunk voices and fat elderly men kissing people's mothers. And that's something I can look forward to.