|Scene along my drive|
There used to be days when I would get to school and inside my locker would be a little book or a little stuffed animal and a note from Hanna saying simple things like "Have a good day!" or "I'm so glad we are friends."
After high school, I went off to college and Hanna went to England to live and work with some family friends. She and I kept in touch through letters and $40 phone calls. After my freshman year at UVM, Hanna came home to Maine and met her future husband. She and I both made mistakes and our friendship fell apart.
At some point, about 7 years later, she and I started emailing each other and tried to talk things out. We eventually met up and had dinner together, but it was clear things weren't the same. Since I moved home to Maine two years ago, Hanna and I have slowly started to regain our friendship. About a month ago, we went to dinner and ended up sitting in the restaurant for almost 4 hours laughing about old times.
At her baby shower, a wave of sadness came over me. While I was happy to be there and happy to celebrate her first baby with her, I was sad that I was there as a peripheral friend. I didn't know anyone there except for her mother and a family friend who didn't even remember ever meeting me (even though I stayed at her house once on a road trip with Hanna).
And I met my replacement. I met the girl who must have picked up right where I left off. I met Hanna's "new" best friend.
I couldn't help but be sad knowing that it would have been me planning that shower. It would have been me laughing with her family and hugging her mother when she was overcome with joy at how lovely the shower turned out.
As I get older, I'm sometimes saddened by the friends I've lost along the way, but I'm also starting to realize that some of these friends were placed in my path for very specific reasons. I'm so glad Hanna has come back onto my path and that we have a chance to keep moving forward together.