So much has happened in the past month and every day I think to myself, "Ohhh I need to blog about this!" And I want to blog, but it just never felt like I had time. I'm now relegated to blogging while pumping. Please don't try to imagine that. It's as bad as it sounds.
Alexia is doing great. She's such a sweet little baby. She has her bad days of course, but overall, she has been so good. I really am so happy and know that she is so special. I won't lie and say it's all been easy. There have been times when I've questioned whether I could handle having a baby.
|2 month picture taken by Auntie Em|
I cried because a part of me misses my old life where I slept and got to feel selfish and got to decide how my day would go and got to shower before 3pm. Then I cried because I felt guilty for feeling that way. How could I miss my old life when my new life has Alexia in it? How could I miss sleep knowing that my life is so much better now that she is here?
I had to give myself a break. Any sane person would have a tough time with this sleep schedule... actually this schedule in general. There is no schedule. You do what Alexia wants, when she wants it. The past 9 weeks are a blur of feedings, little sleep, sleep at weird hours, trying to figure this little person out, tears, unbelievable happiness, and so much love.
|Another amazing picture taken by my sister|
But through it all, there is so much love. So many cuddles. So many little kisses on those perfect little cheeks. And knowing that this little baby is ours brings me so much happiness.
So sweet! I'm in the same exact place right now and it is exhausting and exhilarating.
Erin, she is beautiful! and i sooo know that crying moment. we definitely wondered if we could turn the clock back and just enjoy being our old selves for a while again. but you're right, it just gets better and better! congrats!!
I hope you get some sleep soon, but I can tell you from experience that sooner than later you will forget you were ever sleep deprived. It seems like so long ago and I can't remember it hardly at all. I do remember falling asleep with my head propped in my hand while tandem nursing once but that's it....it's also hard for me to remember what it felt like holding such tiny babies so sear that memory into your brain as much as you can.
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