Friday, March 22, 2013

The loneliness of the first trimester

Everyone says that when you find out you're pregnant, you feel so much joy and excitement. People often warn of the morning sickness that comes with the first trimester, but don't warn about how lonely that first trimester can be.

Often during my first trimester, I felt really alone. LoLo couldn't see a physical difference in my body, he only saw that I was really tired (which he at first said I was just being lazy). I wasn't really telling my friends yet, so there was no one to talk to about how I was feeling and what I was going through. I did have my family because we told them as soon as we found out, but I kind of wanted to talk with my friends who had had babies recently. I wanted to talk with someone who'd been through it. Someone who could understand how I was feeling physically and mentally.

There were days when I was so exhausted and just wanted to yell out, "I'm pregnant and I'm going home for a nap!" But I couldn't do that because no one knew yet and I had to try to act normal. I can't even imagine how it would have been if I had had morning sickness.

Pregnancy is such a weird thing to me so far. I'm just now starting to show a little bit (even though I've only gained one pound, my body is definitely shifting) and that has made me feel like it's more real, but I'm still kind of at the point where I don't feel any different than I did before I was pregnant. I've felt the baby move a couple of times which was exciting, but in the times that I don't feel it move, it's almost like it's not there.

People ask how I'm doing and my answer is always that I'm just hanging out...waiting for something to happen. I honestly don't feel different and am just waiting and excited for the time when I will feel like this is more real. Just two and a half more weeks until our big ultrasound where we get to see the baby for a longer time! Maybe that will help...


Oh hello, Love said...

You could also retitle this "The loneliness of being a firstborn." Sorry buddies. If you had waited a good five more years then maybe I would have already had a baby and I could have told you how it is. Unfortunately for you, like everything else in life, you get to do it first and then tell me. And then I tell Jon. I kid. I kid.

I'll do some research and get back to you on this. Until then, tell that baby his/her favorite auntie says hello and if he/she would tell me what he/she is, his/her favorite auntie would buy him/her the most fabulous little outfit, with either a little tiny bow tie or a little tiny tulle skirt, as appropriate.

Nikkiana said...

I've not had children or been pregnant, so I'm perfectly willing to admit that my opinion this may change if/when I find myself in that situation, but I think one of the reasons why I've never really felt particularly comfortable with the idea of waiting until the second trimester to tell everybody is I don't think I could bear the isolation you're describing. I'd rather have the support of my friends right off, even if it does mean that I run the risk of having to make a sad announcement if something goes wrong.

Al said...

I'm just so glad the cat is out of the bag and you can keep us up to date on the little one!! I am STILL so excited for you!!! :)

undomestic mama said...

Honey text me anytime! Email me for my phone number! I felt really lonely during my pregnancy too, but for other reasons. I will always be here for you.